Book Review- Not Without My Daughter by Betty Mahmoody

Where do I even begin to describe this book. It is a fascinating (yet disturbing) book, based on a true story which will literally give you creeps. It did, to me. This is a story of an American woman, Betty who goes to Iran with her (Iranian) husband to meet his family but soon finds out that her husband won't return back to American and neither would he let her and their daughter back. It is a story of her struggles, the cultural difference she faces especially when she never even imagined herself or her daughter ever being there.

The book is very well written. It makes you feel as if you are a part of it, like a passerby looking at what all is happening and before you even know, you start praying for things to happen a certain way. You can't wait for the book to finish, not because you lose interest in it, but you just get very curious to know what happens to her and struggles to keep herself and her daughter safe.

A must read.

Follow my instagram account- “bookscoffeedreams” for daily updates

May Reading Goals

1. Not Without My Daughter- Betty Mahmoody

2. Tuesdays with Morrie- Mitch Albom

3. Princess Sultana's Circle- Jean Sasson

Follow my instagram account- “bookscoffeedreams” for daily updates

https://www.instagram.com/bookscoffeedreams/

Are we really educated?

“A son is a son till he gets a wife. A daughter is a daughter all her life.”

We are in the age of the Aquarius which means that we are currently in a period where women will rise. We will come to the awareness of the female strength. Yet people find it an insult to bring daughter(s) into this world. We surely are living in 21^st century and apparently we are the Gen-Y, but I guess these are just words created by us to make us feel happy or whatever. Daughters are still considered an insult to manhood and a baggage on the family. There is a reason why the law of nature says to you, “I will not let you choose. When you become pregnant, you will not know, you shouldn’t, if it is a girl or a boy.” That is law’s nature of keeping balance between the nurturer and the provider. When we kill the nurturer, we create an imbalance, an imbalance that we will be so sorry in generations to come. And god surely has a way to teach a lesson to the people who try to play with the nature’s law. And education- however much we say that it changes the mindset of people- does not help at all in making people aware of the importance of girl child. At the end of the day, it is their upbringing and ego that plays the main role.

This is an incidence which I heard of recently. I was shocked.

A man, who has passed out from the most elite management institute of this country and his wife had a daughter out of their 3 year marriage. So when the wife conceived the child for the second time, the man told her, “Let us get the tests done to find out if it is a boy or a girl; because if it is a boy, it is fine. But if it is a girl, we will abort it.” The wife was shocked and asked for a reason. “Because all my friends have a son and I don’t want to get insulted, in case I don’t get one” replied the man. The wife tried to persuade him a lot not to take this drastic step and that it was ok to have another daughter (just in case). How was it an insult, she did not understand (and neither did I). As women are of this country, she had to do what her husband asked her to do. They got the screening done from a shady place. It showed that it was a girl. Not fully satisfied, they got the screening done from two more places and both those places also showed that it was a girl. The man just could not accept this fact and forced his wife for an abortion. The woman cried, begged, pleaded but her husband just did not lend an ear. Finally, the woman had to go through the process which is the most painful for any woman on this earth- Abortion.

But the man forgot that he was playing with nature. And when you play with nature, you never win. When the child was aborted, the foetus was that of a boy child. This was indeed a tight slap on the man’s face. But he still didn’t learn his lesson. He wanted his wife to conceive again. Because the woman did not want to go through the same painful experience again, she suggested the man that they be sure of the sex of the child. They went to a foreign country to get the IVF done, wherein they would be sure that it was a boy child. They played with nature again. And this time nature gave them a boy or rather boys. It was twins the woman was expecting now. The man did not want twins. His reason- He can’t afford 3 children. He wanted one of the twins to be aborted.

I don’t know what happened further. But if this is what the education does to you- makes you feel insulted on having a daughter, does not find aborting a child a sin etc.- then why get educated? 

October Favorites

Favorite Book- Princess by Jean Sasson

Princess is the first book in the Trilogy (The Princess Trilogy #1). It is a story about Princess Sultana of Saudi Arabia and she narrates the story. A very simple yet strong story telling which is                   bound to move you to tears.
My Rating- 5/5
Goodreads link-  https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/613283.Princess?from_search=true

Favorite Song- Mitti di Khushboo by Ayushmann Khurana

I have always been a fan of Ayushmann's singing ever since his first song came out (Paani da rang).
I have had this song on my repeat list ever since i have heard it. A brilliantly pictured, composed and sung song!

Favorite Movie- Khoobsoorat

I am not a fan of Sonam Kapoor and that is the only reason i did not watch "Khoobsoorat" until i heard everyone raving about it. And i must confess, I loved the movie (though i found Sonam Kapoor to be very annoying) but I choose to ignore it.  The movie was a typical Disney movie and instant mood lifter. Fawad Khan was good.

Favorite Food-

Ah! Now comes my favorite question. Hehehehe... It is very difficult for someone like me (who is a foodie to the deepest of core) to choose one dish to be a favorite. But i have still found out the answer. It is Grilled Chicken with Porcini Mushroom Sauce at Mocha. Oh my god! It is one of the most deliciously and juciest grilled chicken i have ever had. I do not like mushrooms, but this mushroom sauce is simply yummy. So if you are in Chandigarh, do visit the Courtyard in Elante Mall. There is seating outside as well as inside, but i always prefer to sit outside.

Favorite Drink-

I am a BIG coffee lover (as if you didn't know). So i like to visit various cafes and try their coffees. This month i came across Dunkin Donuts' Cappuccino. After Cafe Coffee Day's and Starbuck's Cappuccino, this is the best one i have had in a long time. And since the weather is now getting a little cold, it tastes even better when i and my brother go for a coffee after dinner on his bullet. :D

Favorite Quote-

I have always lived by this quote "Everything happens for a reason."

Favorite Game-

Candy Crush Saga is my favorite game. But I am almost at the end of Temple Run 2 and therefore i keep playing it day in and day night to complete its last objective i.e. "Infinirunner- 10,000,000 lifetime meters" and I have covered 8,984,519 meters. Crazy, right?

Midnight Ramblings

It is a beautiful night. The kind of night I have always loved. There is slight chill in the air but you don’t mind sitting out in your balcony just in your night clothes, a mug of hot coffee and a wonderful book. It is just a perfect setting to me. Usually I would pop in the earphones in my ears and listen to some soft and soothing music. But sometimes, the music played by the night is way softer and soothing than any songs can be. I am currently reading “Shantaram” by “Gregory David Roberts” and I am absolutely in love with it and cannot put it down. Tonight though, it is a different story.

It is probably the onset of winters (according to me) and I love winters. Snuggling into your bed and quilt with a hot coffee mug and book is one of my few favorite things in this whole wide world. It rained a little in the evening which makes the weather all the more amazing. My home is far away from the main road, yet I can hear the long journey trucks passing by every now and then. The moon is crescent shaped and in a beautiful shade of orange. A plane just took off. Some dogs are barking continuously from last 2 hours. And there are some people who are bursting crackers at this hour (it is 1:57 a.m.) which are going up in the sky and coloring it into 1000 sparkles. They are celebrating the marriage of their son. It is a breezy night. The trees are swaying and so are the leaves making a rustling noise (one of the most wonderful sound to the ears). The street is filled with the yellow light from the street lamps out of which one is struggling with its bulb going on and off every now and then. And this is all seeming very amusing to the dog sleeping under that lamp. When the lamp goes off, he gets up and looks at the other lamps (maybe wondering why haven’t the rest of lamps turned off, who knows). When the lamp turns on, he goes back to his lying down. He has already done this quite a few times and it is just funny to see him do it every time. I am feeling so happy right now. And if all this was not enough, I can smell the vanilla scent coming from my room (I had lit up a warm vanilla scented candle. I love my room smelling good.).

It is nights like these that make me feel so happy, content and blessed. The people around me are sleeping peacefully; some maybe are almost through half their sleep. And here I am, wide awake, dreaming of a zillion things with open eyes and a smile on my lips. I have been smiling all this while. And it is nights like these that make me go deep into my thinking mode. It is not much that is needed to be happy in life, yet we complicate our lives looking for happiness, wanting to buy it in the form of gadgets, clothes, property etc. If only we knew happiness cannot be travelled to, owned, earned worn or consumed. Happiness is a spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace and gratitude. (Denis Waitley) This is the happiness I am experiencing right now and experience it quite often in the silence of the musical nights. Amen. 

Forgive: because you deserve it!

"Kuch is tarah se maine apni zindagi ko asaan kar lia;

kisi se maafi maang li aur kisi ko maaf kar dia."

If you know me personally, then you would know that I am terrible when it comes to forgiving someone. I know it is not something to be proud of and I am not! Neither am I ashamed of it. It is just a personality trait that I have. I was not born with it. But I gradually developed it. Why? Because many a times people take your forgiveness for granted. They do not realize the importance of forgiveness. For them it simply means that you have given them another chance to break your trust and play with your feelings. Well, this was just a personal experience(s). I know everyone is not the same. I also know that what happened once might not necessarily happen again. And as I grew up, I have also got to know that everyone deserves a second chance.

We all are humans. We all make mistakes. We learn from them. We swear never to repeat them again. And sometimes we end up repeating them. Because “To err is human”. I have always been very weak in letting go of my past, because I get emotionally attached to people too fast, too deep. And so, when they move away from me, I find it very difficult to detach from them and forgive them for the same. This was me until very recently i.e. until someone made me realize that by forgiving them I am not doing a favor on them, but on myself. I am deeply grateful and thankful to that person.  I think it was the most valuable lesson I learnt in a long time and I must share it with everyone.

Firstly, think of the wonderful things that person has done for you. William Shakespeare said in Julius Caesar, “The evil that men do lives after them, The good is oft interred with their bones,”. Similarly we tend to forget every nice thing a person has done for us and only remember one bad thing things they did to us (and sometimes it is not even done intentionally). We must give them a chance. They deserve it for good time’s sake.

Secondly, think of the things that you have committed wrong in the past and expected forgiveness. I am sure we make so many mistakes daily- some forgivable, some not so forgivable. Keeping those in mind and keeping in mind that sometimes we did not commit mistakes to hurt someone. The consequences though, did hurt them. In spite of that, we have been forgiven so many times. So what makes us so great that we cannot forgive someone else?

Thirdly, forgiving is a very Nobel gesture. Enough said.

Fourthly, what you give, you get many times over and abundantly. In that case, let us love and we will get love many times over and abundantly. As it is our planet needs a lot of love.

And fifthly, you are a nice person. You deserve to forgive and let go of your immense trauma. As Dr. Steve Maraboli says, “Forgiveness: It is not because they deserve it. It is because you do. Sometimes forgiveness is about loving yourself enough to move on.”

Forgiveness is a choice we make. Not for the benefit of the other person. It is not so that they can skip away merrily into the sunset. It is for ourselves, so that we don’t have to carry around hurt, bitterness and anger. They weigh us down, blur our vision and make our journey slow and painful. Forgiveness allows us to drop all of these things, to no longer carry them with us and continue our journey lighter and more at peace.

Amen.

                                                                

A Morning Affair

“Oh no, I’m late! How did I not get up?” were the first words that came out of Neeya’s mouth as soon as she woke up. Her phone showed it was 5:27 a.m. Indeed she was late. She has been waking up at 5 o’clock for the past 1 year 4 months and 16 days. No, 15 days since she got late today. She wakes up at 5, brushes her teeth, washes her face and pinches her cheeks (to get the natural flush) before she rushes down to her lawn to water plants. Well, not really to water the plants but to see Avi run by her lawn at 5-15 a.m.

Avi studies with Neeya at St. Martins. They are in class 12^th, but different divisions. And Neeya has had a crush on him ever since he joined school in April 2 years back. It was only in August that she found out that he runs from front of her house. She had just come back from her grandparents’ house after spending her summer vacations there. Her train arrived at 4-15 a.m. and at 4-55 a.m., she was home. Sleepless as she was, she decided to go out and water the plants in her lawn. That is when she saw Avi running and said “Hi Avi” without even thinking once. She was just so happy to see him, but the moment she said, her cheeks flushed out the color of apples.

“Neeya, right? Hi… How are you?” replied Avi with equal enthusiasm.

“Good. And you?”

“Very well, thank you. Hey, you like watering plants too? I love it”

“Ummm yeah, I think it’s a perfect way to start one’s day. You know, when the sun in just rising and the air is fresh.” Neeya managed to lie.

“Really?” questioned Avi. “But I have never seen you before. I run every day from this route”

“Oh no, what am I going to say now?” thought Neeya. “I used to do it around 6 o’clock. But I just thought I should get a up a little early. I used to get late for school. And now that the school is opening in a week, I thought maybe I should make it a habit to get up early.”

“Cool. Ok then, I better get going now. See you tomorrow” said Avi.

“Bye” was all that Neeya managed to say. “Thank god he believed me” she thought.

And that is how she her habit of getting up at 5 a.m. was developed. Every day for the past 1 year, 4 months and 15 days, they used to exchange their good mornings and sometimes a little conversation. It was not the sunrise and fresh air that gave Neeya the perfect start to her day. It was Avi’s smile when he wished her good morning that made it perfect. But today was just not her lucky day. She was late by 7 minutes, and by the time she reached down she would be late by 15 minutes. Nevertheless, she jumped off her bed, brushed her teeth, washed her face and rushed downstairs. She skipped the ritual of pinching her cheeks today. She knew she was pushing her luck too hard, but still she went into the lawn and started watering the plants. She waited there for about 10 minutes and just as she was about to give up and go back inside, there he was!

He was wearing a deep purple round neck t-shirt, which read “I moustache you a question” in red ink and underneath the text was a moustache drawn in black. It was a t-shirt that he wore most frequently with his black standard Puma shorts, ankle socks and Nike Air running shoes. Never had she seen him without those earplugs in his ears and the music played was always some fast numbers. The songs “pumped him up to run with a steady pace” in Avi’s words. Each muscle in his body used to move and the muscles that melted Neeya’s heart were those of his face when they broke into a smile.

“Good morning Neeya” wished Avi with his 1000 watt smile.

“A very good morning to you too Avi,” replied Neeya. “You got late today?” Oops! She had not meant to say that and was embarrassed when she saw a look of astonishment on Avi’s face.

“Ummm… Yeah. Actually I could not find the keys to the main door. Dad came late last night and he took them inside his room by mistake. So I had to wait for him to wake up.”

“Ohk…” Was all that Neeya managed to say. She thought she was too obvious in showing that she kept a track of his time. She did not want to make it any more obvious.

“You get going then or else you will get late. I will also go in and get ready for school” said Neeya in a very calm voice.

“Yeah I should. All right then, see you in school”

“Sure. See ya!” saying this Neeya turned around and thanked god for not letting her perfect start ruin. Just a good morning wish and she knew her day was made. What she did not know was that not only were the wishes the perfect start to her day, but also Avi’s days’.

To be continued…

Seasons of life

“To everything there is season and a time to every purpose under heaven”- Ecclesiastes 3:1

While I was going for a run today evening, these beautiful hues of sky caught my eye and throughout the run I was just thanking God for showing me such a beautiful sight. It looks as if far away at the horizon, the sky is burning lighting up the universe. And these colors kept changing with every lap I took. The season is changing. Quite early though. But feeling the chill in the year, it looks like the winter is just around the corner. Is it good or is it bad, I don’t know yet. What I know is that how ungrateful do we sometimes become. Sometimes?? No. Always?? Yes!

With the change of the season, not only the colors of leaves and our surroundings change, but we change. We often hear the phrase “changing over the years”. But I think we don’t change over the years. We never change over the years. We always change over the seasons- from the free soul in summers; to a deep thinker in fall; to a loner in winters; and finally a hopeful you in spring. It is funny though that we never realize the same.

With each season we get opportunities to think a different way. What might seem impossible in winters may be super successful in summers.  It is all about breaking the shell and moving out of it, like a butterfly does. As a larva, it must have considered itself to be the ugliest, but as soon as she breaks the cocoon and comes out of it, she is a beautiful living being with the most delicate wings that take her to far and away to the most beautiful flowers. Had the larva given up on itself, it would have never been able to fly from one flower to the other, not only enjoying its fragrance but also helping spread it.

It is all about the perspective we hold and how we decide to live our lives- in despair or in hope. Living in despair will only make us a negative mind spreading negativity all around. The world already has a lot of negativity and does not need any more of it, what the world needs is a positive approach to life. One positive approach per person equals to billions of positive approaches. Comparing that to the negativity, it accounts to much more since I still believe there are much more people with the positive outlook than negative, which is one of the many reasons that we are living this life today.

So let us all take this chance to be grateful to God and pledge to be a more positive with each day. Just like the seasons, let us all change for the good.

Every day may not be good. But there is something good in every day.

This evening, I was talking to my friend and she was sharing this article written by a woman on how to know if you are really happy and content with your life. And that put me on a thinking mode. We have one life. And we have a billion dreams to fulfill in this one lifetime, not realizing that we are falling short of time with every minute passing in which we are doing nothing to achieve our dreams. Amidst the madness of this crazy world, we sometimes tend to forget to take a break. We know we are alive. But how many of us actually feel the life? Merely breathing is not living. Or is it? Not for me at least. I am not asking anyone to stop following their dreams. Never do that! All I am saying is that it is necessary to take out some time for you and introspect that is what you are working towards really your dream?

“You fall, you rise, you make mistakes, you live and you learn. You’ve been hurt but you’re alive. Think of what a precious privilege it is to be alive- to breathe, to think, to enjoy and to chase your dreams. Sometimes, there is sadness in our journey, but there is also lots of beauty. We must keep putting one foot in front of the other even when we are hurt for we will never know what is awaiting us just around the bend.”- Anon

How aptly the above quotes describes on how we should be living. Have a purpose in life. There has to be something that keeps us sparked all the time. Do more of what makes you happy. I understand that it is easier said than done. But trust me; it is not that difficult either. It is all about organizing your thoughts and actions. Start with doing something once a day, something that you want to do and not need to do. Inculcate it in your daily schedule. It will make a huge change in your life. You will feel more happy and alive. Because now, you are doing something you love daily. You will look forward to it. Every day may not be good. But there is something good in every day. There are infinite things that will spark up your life and make it good. I am listing 5 of my favorite things:

 1.  Believing in God:

God is my biggest strength and my love for him is beyond any measure. I don’t go to the Gurudwara every day. But that does not make me any less a devotee of God. He is everywhere and solely responsible for turning my every dream into reality. Always be thankful to God. Always! 

2. Dreaming:

I dream and I day dream. And I believe in my dreams. They say “A dream is a wish your heart makes.” Indeed it is. And so, only your heart has the power to turn it into reality. Sometimes, you have to defy all the logic, rhyme and reasons and just go with your instincts and gut feeling. I am a very strong believer of “Everything happens for a reason” and therefore, if there is a gut feeling, it has a purpose. Go for it.

     3.  Reading:

Reading is my super power. It is a stress buster. It is my passion. I cannot be thankful enough to my massi for inculcating in me this habbit of reading from the time I was very young and then gifting me the best book I have (and probably will) ever read- Gone With The Wind by Margaret Mitchell. I feel reading makes me a better person with every passing day. The more I read, the more I keep improving on myself. 

4. Spending “Positive”  time with self:

I love loneliness. Solitude, to me, is bliss. No, I am not an introvert. I am very talkative person and I just love talking in general. But at the end of the day, I need some time by myself to reflect upon my day. This is the time for my self-realizations. This is my time for self learning. And over the past some time, I have gone into the mode of “positive thinking” on everything that happens. Even if it is something bad, I think of it as something that happened to stop the worse or worst from happening. So that kind of helps me be a happier person.

5. Food and retail therapy:

And finally, I love eating. I like to treat myself with some yummy treats anytime I feel like. Give me a nice cup of coffee and my day is made. I also like splurge into shopping. I am a huge makeup fan, and so I have been rushing to Sephora at every possible chance and buy myself some lovely things. Even if it is as small as a lipgloss, it gives me so much happiness.

There is perfection in each one of us

Let us talk about life! Sharing your thoughts with others, just in general, can be scary. Especially as a young female and as a person in this world, I want other people to know that it is completely OK to have a voice. And as I sit here, I want to talk about perfection. There is no single person on this planet that is perfect. We have all heard it before, but I think it is really important, especially in today’s world to really absorb that and understand what that means. There is an idea of perfection and no one can really attain that. I feel that everybody may have their own idea of perfection, but instead of putting our energy into attaining that non-attainable perfection, we should put all that energy into growing as a person and finding happiness and beauty in times when things aren’t really “happy-go-lucky” types. There have been times in my life when I have felt really very low about myself. In fact we all have gone through those times at some point in our lives. And it was really about concentrating my energy into positive things. It took baby steps. It wasn’t anything that just happened overnight. All the experiences that you may be having in your life, they may not be fantastic, but they are a stepping stone to who you are going to be; and to take those negatives and turn them into positives.

Because I know that body confidence is such a huge issue right now, especially with all this social media, I like to tell people that no one is perfect, but everyone is perfect in some or the other thing, even if ends up being the tiniest little speck of glitter or something like that. I feel there is always something to focus on that is positive. As far as insecurities are concerned, I, like every other person on this earth, has some insecurities, whether it is about some things I can or cannot do, because I am not always the best when it comes to physical activity and that is something I become very self conscious about. It may seem weird, but I feel that when it comes to insecurities, there is nothing that can’t be put on the table- because everyone has them.  They may not seem important to others, but that does not make those insecurities any less real. People will always point them out which makes one feel even more insecure about it. But the fact is whether one accepts them or not, they are there. Accepting them does not make us weak or any less beautiful. What makes us beautiful is having a strong mind. I always think of Tyrion Lannister from A Game of Thrones and how he said that he uses his mind and he has to keep it sharp, because he didn’t have all the qualities of a strong man, but his mind was his strength. Therefore, let us all embrace our flaws and make them our strengths. 

"Once you have accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you"- Tyrion Lannister (A game of thrones)

My memory book

I don’t even know where to start from. Words don’t come easy at times like these. It has been a journey full of experiences- A journey of lifetime. We met as strangers. Never did we realize we will be a part of each other’s lives forever.  When you are 24/7 with someone, you tend to get close. You have no choices. No matter how much you dislike a person but you cannot stay away from them because somewhere, they have become a part of your story and you, theirs. Every one we know, they all have labels of their stories.

Such is my story and the label is “Dreamer”. Do I even need to tell that?! I cannot be thankful enough to God for this wonderful chapter of my life which is full of so many characters- each one with different story. I thank you all for making me a part of your stories. Life has been tough dealing with all our daily problems. But with you all by my side, it was kind of fun to face them, because I know it was not just me, but we all were going through similar downfalls. It is funny that although we all have our own stories, yet it has been almost the same for the past one and a half years. Each story has a label- many a times not very visible. But we just have to make a little effort to read it. And that’s the tricky thing about labels. Once in a while they tell us everything we need to know. But most of the times, it is a very small part of the story. Slapping a word or two on a person can make things worse. In reality, nothing is as simple as the label may depict it. I have misinterpreted so many labels. I am sorry for all those times.

My label too has been misinterpreted so many times. I am not perfect. I make mistakes. And I learn from them. I have been good and I have been bad. And I have been more than bad.  Thank you all for bearing with me when I was at my worst. I know my stubbornness can get a little too much to take, but you all have taken it and accepted me like that. I may never show it or say it, but you all have played a very important role in shaping my life. Where ever I go, whatever I am, I shall never forget the love showered upon me. I also learnt a few lessons that will last me my lifetime. I don’t know whether to be thankful for those, because as much as I have learnt from them, they have broken me somewhere. But nevertheless “C’est la vie”.

God bless… 

Love at first sight!

There is something about Mumbai that makes everyone fall in love with it. And I am the latest victim to it. I have just been to Mumbai twice. On my first visit, I thought I fell in love with it. My second visit just confirmed. But indeed it was love at first sight!

How and where do I even begin? The city is so full of life. Everybody is always on the move. As if they will lose out on their life even if they stop for some time. Well, who knows? And nobody is really bothered if you are matching their pace or even walking with them. You have to make your own efforts and make your way through to get ahead of all. It is so motivating. It is at least to me.

Mumbai Locals- the two words are enough! The experience is amazing. You have to be very careful at the peak hours but you get to see all kinds of people- students, teachers, travelers, office goers etc. and they are all so busy in their own lives. It is like the locals are a city in itself because it literally is the medium of travel for millions of people daily.

Gateway of India- the view of the endless and so many ships floating in there just makes you feel so happy about everything. And the Taj Mahal Palace Hotel is just the icing on the cake. You feel so proud of just being a part of everything.

Marine Drive- I had only dreamt of going there, sitting by the endless sea at night and just looking at it. I had forgotten my own theory for a life- "Dreams do come true!" And here i was sitting by the sea, watching the sea waves come and go, watching the airplanes take off and land at a distance. It was a different feeling altogether; something that cannot be explained, just felt. The smile just stuck on my face. It simply refused to go. I was genuinely very happy (one of those rare moments). I so wanted the time to just stop so that i could live in that moment for as long as I wanted. It didn't, of course!

But I was super lucky to have got a chance to spend the night in a sea-facing flat, on the 20th floor, which meant the flat also faced the Bandra-Worli sea-link. It is a view i will not forget all my life. All night, I just sit by the window, admiring the rising and falling sea waves, airplanes taking off and landing, Mumbai skyline and the contant traffic on the sea-link and the other roads I could see. Surely, this city never sleeps. But I did, sitting by the window itself. And it is a sleep I will dream of forever!

50 random things about the dreamer...

    1.     I am not easy to handle.

    2.    I am a diehard believer. I believe in whatever I believe in and trust me on my words I have never been let down. Ok... let me put it in other words- I am the biggest dreamer you would ever meet.

    3.    I prefer salty than sweet.

    4.    99% of the time I am in myself, I have no answer for it.

    5.    I can spend days in library- reading is my passion & love. I want to own my own library some day.

    6.    I love being alone. Solitude to me is bliss.

    7.    I observe people a lot.

    8.    I go quiet when I am hurt.

    9.    I have too many dreams to come true in one lifetime. But I still believe they will all come true (refer point 2)

    10. I want to go and live in a place where no one knows me.

    11.  I am too spoilt a girl. If you are not willing to pamper me, I won’t love you.

    12. I need my space and time, no matter who you are. Give me that!

    13. Most people think I am too secretive/ arrogant/ reserved.

    14. I get bored of things too soon.

  

    15. I am a Capricorn to the core.

    16. I fall for people who inspire me.

    17. I cry a lot. 

    18. I love blue lays and coke and coffee is my addiction.

    19. Babies make me happier; playing with them makes me feel great.

    20. God is my closest friend. Only he understands me and is responsible for turning all my dreams into reality.

    21.  Given a chance, I would probably go back a few years of my life and live there forever. I hate growing up.

    22. I am an observer. I observe human behavior way too much.

    23. I am a dreamer for myself and very practical for everything else.

    24. I am a sucker for chick-lits, chick-flicks romance.

    25. I live in a world that practically doesn’t exist (refer point 23).

    26. I live by “Everything happens for a reason”.

    27. I want to do the craziest of adventures- parasailing, deep sea diving, bungee jumping etc.

    28. I miss the 90s cartoons- Heidi, Talespin, Ducktales, Captain Planet, Dexter’s lab, Powerpuff girls, The Flintstones, Adams Family, Gummi Bears, Chip n Dale, Scooby doo, Tom and jerry, Swat kats and I could carry on and on. The cartoons these days are a waste of time!

    29. I loved the “Picnic” chocolate and haven’t been able to understand till date as to why did they stop it?

    30. One of the many reasons that i want to get married is that I want to have a daughter.

    31. I am a hard core, die hard, hopeless kind of a lover girl.

    32. I love mountains.

    33. I cry even while watching dumb movies eg Kambakth Ishq and Golmaal 3. Yupp that is me!

    34. Of late, I have started getting irritated by too talkative and immature people. Why can’t we all just grow up and behave like the age we are?? (of course, being stupid is fun sometimes).

    35. I am attracted towards people who are not easy to be understood.

    36. I am an organization freak! Sitting here in Pune, I can tell what is lying on the left side of the second drawer of my dresser.

    37. I give it back to people in their own language, only a bit refined, sooner or later.

    38. I don’t forgive easily. But I don’t hold grudges either. To avoid any kind of mess, I simply avoid the person.

    39. I love to click and get clicked. 30 GB of pictures in the last 5 years is more than enough to prove that I guess ;)

    40. I miss home a lot more than I actually thought I would.

    41. I value my relationships and I am a family girl.

    42. I laugh loud and at times I don’t even know the reason for laughing.

    43. I put on weight easily. That is because I have no control on my diet and am a food-a-holic to the core. Typical Punjabi!

    44. I love Priyanka Chopra- the way she carries herself, her attitude, her elegance and everything about her. And I admire Dr. Kiran Bedi for who she is and for all the inspiration she has given me to become the woman of substance.

    45. I love my girlfriends and miss them a lot- from movies to just sitting and talking to eating out to shopping et al. I just can’t wait to go back home and re-unite with them.

    46. I never forgive the compliments people give me, the best one being- “If people had enemies like me, they wouldn’t need friends” *blush*

    47. I don’t share my secrets and wishes with anyone in this world. There are some things that just belong to me and my little dream world.

    48. I am selfish. Period.

    49. I want to write books some day.

    50. I am completely obsessed with myself and love myself above all. 

The Life Diaries!

So I started watching “The Carries Diaries” and must I say I am totally in love with it. I read the book by the same name last year and I loved it as well. Just that, I can relate to it now. Or shall I say I can completely relate to it now- big city, managing new and old relationships, internships and the most difficult- finding yourself and creating your identity! And in the whole process- I seemed to have lost “the real me”, if that makes any sense. Just till about 8 months back, i.e. when I stepped into this big city- Pune, I used to find the above said to be like a really cool and fun, as in like some adventure trip where you get to find the purpose of your existence, which by the way is true to quite an extent with the only difference that instead of cool, it is very complicated. And this “complicated” part overpowers the “fun” part so much that after a little while, the “fun” part seems to disappear completely.

It is hard to believe how everything has changed for me in the past 8 months, except for the fact, that I still am the same “day dreamer” as I have been all my life. That, I doubt, will ever change! But at the same time I feel I am still the same Puneet. Remember “COMPLICATED”? It is difficult to understand why these entire dilemmas occur? We can either be negative about finding its answer or positive. Either ways, the situation won’t change. So why not take it in a positive way and accept all these transitions and be happy. I know it is NOT easy. There have been so many times I have broke down completely just because either I am not able to understand myself or (like always) no one understands me or worse still, no one even makes an attempt to understand me.  That’s sad, But I have a positive answer for that too- No one else gets to know me “the REAL me” and so I have all the privilege of knowing myself. Does that even make any sense?

I have always believed, still believe and will continue to believe that “Everything happens for a reason”. Ring any bells? Yes, I have already written about the same phrase. I keep going back to my favorite things. Or should I say I keep improving on them with each passing day. But it gets very hard at times. There comes a time when I lose it completely and I don’t know what to do? My life’s current scenario, juggled up in everything. But I’m sure it’s just a phase and will pass in no time. Fingers cross!!